StudentNurse
Friday, August 15, 2008
Two Years Anniversary
I just realized it's been slightly over two years since I started this blog. Although I do admit that a couple of times I've fallen victim to retail therapy nothing beats or comes close to writing here, in this very blog during my stressful and yet joyful trod through nursing school and life.
When I started it in 2006, it was from lack of someone to talk and wholly and fully communicate myself to and what I was going through from day to day. It was from feeling overwhelmed by aloneness and loneliness. At that time, I felt cut off from life. I was sad most days and most of the time indulged in listening to music full of negative energy. Of course, then I did not realize and the music I indulged in I still do today. I guess what I'm trying to say is I make my life what it is.
I'm in no way the same person I was when I started this journal in June, 2006. I'm not only different knowledge wise but physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. A lot of changes have taken place. Some bringing out the best in me and others just showing sides of me I didn't know would ever even cross my mind to exist. Still, I've tried to embrace both positively. It's not all been joy neither has it been tears but I've learned to tap strength from God in either case.
When I started this blog I had not the slightest clue how I was going to pay my way through school and survive (rent, books, bills) but look at me now? It's been a struggle yes but I'm almost there. It's all God, far be it from me that I should take any credit for it. I remember leaving clinical rotations at 11pm and not getting home until 2am yet assignments still awaited me and the next morning I'd had to wake up and go to clinicals or work. Many people ask me how I do it? my response is, it's not me but God. Then of course those times when I've not had enough money to buy my text books or pay rent and my bills. Still, I've somehow emerged a winner and an even stronger person.
However, it's not all been successes I've failed at quite a bit and greatly disappointed and depressed (not literally) myself. I hold myself on a very high pedestal and have very high expectations of myself and this has not always worked for the best of me but still I've learned to deal with it for me or against. I've learned to set boundaries, put my foot down and voice my perceptions. Now who would ever have thought that I of all people would have difficulty airing her views or going west while everyone else has gone east? well let this not be confused for being a follower as I've never been one. I've learned to put me first and do what's best for me. Yet as passionate a person as I am I've still ended up in catch 22's and gotten tangled up in messes that I never dreamed to get involved in. But then again such is life, c'est la vie, we live and learn.
My family has been a great support system. Thanks for bailing me out when I've had no way out, thanks for loving me always despite of circumstances, thanks for walking in my shoes despite been so far away, thanks for calling and writing, for praying with me and for me, for caring so deeply, thanks for being the family everyone else would like to be a part of.
The Jasso's, you've been awesome friends to me in laughter and pain, you've laughed with me and at me, you've taken me in during odd times and made me feel at home, you've provided for me and loved me as one of your own. Oh I can never repay that but I pray for you, that God bestow His best blessings upon you.
J, thanks for being the friend you are to me. For your selflessness and helping me out.
When I started it in 2006, it was from lack of someone to talk and wholly and fully communicate myself to and what I was going through from day to day. It was from feeling overwhelmed by aloneness and loneliness. At that time, I felt cut off from life. I was sad most days and most of the time indulged in listening to music full of negative energy. Of course, then I did not realize and the music I indulged in I still do today. I guess what I'm trying to say is I make my life what it is.
I'm in no way the same person I was when I started this journal in June, 2006. I'm not only different knowledge wise but physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. A lot of changes have taken place. Some bringing out the best in me and others just showing sides of me I didn't know would ever even cross my mind to exist. Still, I've tried to embrace both positively. It's not all been joy neither has it been tears but I've learned to tap strength from God in either case.
When I started this blog I had not the slightest clue how I was going to pay my way through school and survive (rent, books, bills) but look at me now? It's been a struggle yes but I'm almost there. It's all God, far be it from me that I should take any credit for it. I remember leaving clinical rotations at 11pm and not getting home until 2am yet assignments still awaited me and the next morning I'd had to wake up and go to clinicals or work. Many people ask me how I do it? my response is, it's not me but God. Then of course those times when I've not had enough money to buy my text books or pay rent and my bills. Still, I've somehow emerged a winner and an even stronger person.
However, it's not all been successes I've failed at quite a bit and greatly disappointed and depressed (not literally) myself. I hold myself on a very high pedestal and have very high expectations of myself and this has not always worked for the best of me but still I've learned to deal with it for me or against. I've learned to set boundaries, put my foot down and voice my perceptions. Now who would ever have thought that I of all people would have difficulty airing her views or going west while everyone else has gone east? well let this not be confused for being a follower as I've never been one. I've learned to put me first and do what's best for me. Yet as passionate a person as I am I've still ended up in catch 22's and gotten tangled up in messes that I never dreamed to get involved in. But then again such is life, c'est la vie, we live and learn.
My family has been a great support system. Thanks for bailing me out when I've had no way out, thanks for loving me always despite of circumstances, thanks for walking in my shoes despite been so far away, thanks for calling and writing, for praying with me and for me, for caring so deeply, thanks for being the family everyone else would like to be a part of.
The Jasso's, you've been awesome friends to me in laughter and pain, you've laughed with me and at me, you've taken me in during odd times and made me feel at home, you've provided for me and loved me as one of your own. Oh I can never repay that but I pray for you, that God bestow His best blessings upon you.
J, thanks for being the friend you are to me. For your selflessness and helping me out.
Labels: My Anniversary Waltz
posted by Student Nurse at 2:33 PM
Can you believe it?
Believe it that today is already the 15th of August, 2008. I'm not complaining, I'm loving this time flying by so much. There's so much waiting to be done and so many places to go to in the not too far future. So fly time fly.
NSG 404 is going, so far great. Pharmacology gets me and I get it. The papers are brief. I just did my first exam. Let's see how I do on it. Sunday is already the beginning of week 3? who would ever have thought it eh? wow! I'm blown away but again fly time fly your's truly awaits. Before I know it I'll be doing my final and moving on to on site classes. Ugh loathe those but no way out until Jan/Feb. God loves me. He gets me through it. Though I'm no angel I strive, not so hard at times but still strive I do. I just pray I could equally strive at all times. I know you do not get it but I do.
Oh did I tell you? I got a spanking new laptop last Saturday. Yay! So sweet!!! My first and only laptop was a vintage so this is my first new one and am treating it like my new baby hehe. I was careless with my old one but we make mistakes to learn right? and as I say no mistake is a mistake until it can't be made right. So this is my theory...I make a mistake, learn from it, keep the lesson. In keeping the lesson and avoiding repeating the samr mistake is making the mistake right. I'm genius eh? oh well...then again I lie in beds I make and love it
te amo,
stunursy
NSG 404 is going, so far great. Pharmacology gets me and I get it. The papers are brief. I just did my first exam. Let's see how I do on it. Sunday is already the beginning of week 3? who would ever have thought it eh? wow! I'm blown away but again fly time fly your's truly awaits. Before I know it I'll be doing my final and moving on to on site classes. Ugh loathe those but no way out until Jan/Feb. God loves me. He gets me through it. Though I'm no angel I strive, not so hard at times but still strive I do. I just pray I could equally strive at all times. I know you do not get it but I do.
Oh did I tell you? I got a spanking new laptop last Saturday. Yay! So sweet!!! My first and only laptop was a vintage so this is my first new one and am treating it like my new baby hehe. I was careless with my old one but we make mistakes to learn right? and as I say no mistake is a mistake until it can't be made right. So this is my theory...I make a mistake, learn from it, keep the lesson. In keeping the lesson and avoiding repeating the samr mistake is making the mistake right. I'm genius eh? oh well...then again I lie in beds I make and love it
te amo,
stunursy
posted by Student Nurse at 1:42 PM
Friday, August 08, 2008
July 2008
So it came to be that this would be the month I took NSG 403/Nursing Theory. At first it seemed like a breeze of cool air in passing. Mid-way things took a different turn. I was working and my laptop broke. I got off work and went to the library's 247 section. For the first time in a very long time I walked into a Starbucks and instead of ordering my now usual, venti green tea, I placed an order for my past fave, Vanilla latte, extra hot, extra shot and then I found out now like, Jamba Juice, they too had energy shots to complement your drink, so I asked for an energy shot in mine as well. Craving some chicken, I got some. I ate and headed to the library @ 630 closely hugging my venti vanilla latte to me. After all, it was the only thing that was going to get me through the night, no? only there was a problem. The library's 247 section just as the name indicated was strictly a study area and so no food was allowed. I moved around crap in my purse and made room to stand my venti cup of coffee. I walked in cautiosly to avoid any spills. I sat down and soon it was 1am then 2am and now the library was completely desserted, me, being the only soul. What on earth? here I was thinking it was going to get easy, what with the clinicals been in the past but boy have I ever been wrong. Ok so may be it wasn't that tough. May be it only seemed so tough because yours truly spent all day working and all night getting papers, assignments and exams done. Anyway at 2am I decided to take a break, call my moms, her voice been the the only one that gives me that extra push to hang in there and keep going. Sure enough after chatting for 1hr, I braced myself and headed back to my sit and finished up for the night. At 530am, I was in the shower and a few minutes later in bed. 7 hours later up and an hour later at the beach playing Frisbee and walking in the water. Who would have thought it? that life could be so bliss. I thank God, above all, because without Him I'm nothing and no one. So it was a tough class. I was at the verge of failing but God intervened and I passed the class. I barely started NSG 404/Pharmacology and I know I have to make an A in this one to make up for not doing great in NSG 404. All my faith, hope and trust are set in God. I trust He who started a good work in me to bring it to completion.
BTW, I was failing NSG 403 because my papers sucked. But at the end of it all I wrote a thank you note to my prof for supporting me through it and helping me see what I was doing wrong, how to correct it and finally passing the class. In reply to my thank you note here's a direct quote from my prof's e-mail to me...
"And you are welcome for the help! You are going to be too good a nurse to let anything derail you".
I thank God for my family and friends. Above all all gratitude to God.
p.s. Oh my goodness. It's August!!! Can you believe it? already? days are flying and am loving it b/c I'll get on a jet plane and fly away..so soon. Woot! Woot!
Mucho amor,
Student Nursy
BTW, I was failing NSG 403 because my papers sucked. But at the end of it all I wrote a thank you note to my prof for supporting me through it and helping me see what I was doing wrong, how to correct it and finally passing the class. In reply to my thank you note here's a direct quote from my prof's e-mail to me...
"And you are welcome for the help! You are going to be too good a nurse to let anything derail you".
I thank God for my family and friends. Above all all gratitude to God.
p.s. Oh my goodness. It's August!!! Can you believe it? already? days are flying and am loving it b/c I'll get on a jet plane and fly away..so soon. Woot! Woot!
Mucho amor,
Student Nursy
Labels: God's love and miracles to me, NSG 403 theory paper, NSG 404
posted by Student Nurse at 5:06 PM
