StudentNurse
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Medical-Surgery Nursing 1 Retake
I wasn't going to write this here. But after much thought and contemplation I will. It's the reason I started this journal in the first place. To write my hardships, struggles, pains, tears and joys and those triump moments as a nursing student. Hopefully one day I'll sit back and read through it and smile amidst tears or not having made it.
This is one of the worst things that's happened to me so far in nursing school if not the worst really. It's painful. I've been in denial and I hope and pray to my God that He may lift it up from my soul and heart as i type it in this journal. I have cried so many tears. I have turned away from God. I have not prayed for so long because of this and now it's tearing me up from the inside to the outside. It's breaking me down. I need to let God take control. I am giving this burden to God right now and here to carry it for me because I've tried on my own and failed greatly. I surrender. I submit it. I am ready to move on. I've let go Jesus heal my wound and pain and guide me forward.
They say to appreciate success we have to fail. I've not failed a class ever before in my life but I failed Med Surg 1. I exceled in the rotations part of it but failed the lecture. I missed it by a mere 3pts. I have to re-take the whole class clinical rotations and lecture,both. That has been the hardest thing to accept. Another 2 whole months of the same class what am i going to do with myself? is what I've been wondering. I could not shake off the feeling stupid off of me.
I started re-taking it yesterday. I changed my cohort. It's been devastating but I can't let it keep doing what it's doing to me. If I do I am digging my own grave. Yesterday, when I got to school I cried so much because now I hardly know anyone in my class. Duh. For crying out loud it's a NEW cohort they've been together since orientation so I can't just pop-in there and expect to know someone. It felt like a freshman but I've to stop it and now. I am going to re-take that class and am going to excel. I am going to be the head.
I have the textbooks that made me fail the class in November. It's going to be different. The instructor is great! I like her. My former classmate lend me her books. I have to remember everything happens for a reason as hard as this has been it also did happen for a reason and am graetful to God it did. Because of this God-willing I'll always have textbooks for all my remaining classes.
I thank God for my family, my boyfriend, BFF2 and my good friend, Sandra for all the support they've given me. No one was mad at me. Everyone has been superunderstanding. Thanks to God too for ensuring I got a second chance. Because I had to re-apply to the nursing dept to change cohorts.
I still have passion to be the best nurse. Pray me well...
With all this said. I let go and let God.
Tomorrow I start my clinicals. I pray for God's favor. I'll be going to the same hospital I went to for my Funds rotation probably a different floor though.
My first exam is on Saturday. Can you believe that? already. I gotta read. Go me!
Did I mention I have new clinical shoes? Thanks to the BF. White spanking new hot shoes. I'll be sporting them tomorrow that on it's own is a plus. Woot!
I'll be back to update you on the first examen and clinicals. No class on Monday. Double Woot!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!
(I feel a tad better.I will get there...)
This is one of the worst things that's happened to me so far in nursing school if not the worst really. It's painful. I've been in denial and I hope and pray to my God that He may lift it up from my soul and heart as i type it in this journal. I have cried so many tears. I have turned away from God. I have not prayed for so long because of this and now it's tearing me up from the inside to the outside. It's breaking me down. I need to let God take control. I am giving this burden to God right now and here to carry it for me because I've tried on my own and failed greatly. I surrender. I submit it. I am ready to move on. I've let go Jesus heal my wound and pain and guide me forward.
They say to appreciate success we have to fail. I've not failed a class ever before in my life but I failed Med Surg 1. I exceled in the rotations part of it but failed the lecture. I missed it by a mere 3pts. I have to re-take the whole class clinical rotations and lecture,both. That has been the hardest thing to accept. Another 2 whole months of the same class what am i going to do with myself? is what I've been wondering. I could not shake off the feeling stupid off of me.
I started re-taking it yesterday. I changed my cohort. It's been devastating but I can't let it keep doing what it's doing to me. If I do I am digging my own grave. Yesterday, when I got to school I cried so much because now I hardly know anyone in my class. Duh. For crying out loud it's a NEW cohort they've been together since orientation so I can't just pop-in there and expect to know someone. It felt like a freshman but I've to stop it and now. I am going to re-take that class and am going to excel. I am going to be the head.
I have the textbooks that made me fail the class in November. It's going to be different. The instructor is great! I like her. My former classmate lend me her books. I have to remember everything happens for a reason as hard as this has been it also did happen for a reason and am graetful to God it did. Because of this God-willing I'll always have textbooks for all my remaining classes.
I thank God for my family, my boyfriend, BFF2 and my good friend, Sandra for all the support they've given me. No one was mad at me. Everyone has been superunderstanding. Thanks to God too for ensuring I got a second chance. Because I had to re-apply to the nursing dept to change cohorts.
I still have passion to be the best nurse. Pray me well...
With all this said. I let go and let God.
Tomorrow I start my clinicals. I pray for God's favor. I'll be going to the same hospital I went to for my Funds rotation probably a different floor though.
My first exam is on Saturday. Can you believe that? already. I gotta read. Go me!
Did I mention I have new clinical shoes? Thanks to the BF. White spanking new hot shoes. I'll be sporting them tomorrow that on it's own is a plus. Woot!
I'll be back to update you on the first examen and clinicals. No class on Monday. Double Woot!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!
(I feel a tad better.I will get there...)
Labels: Medical Surgical Nursing 1
posted by Student Nurse at 2:30 PM
