StudentNurse
Friday, August 15, 2008
Two Years Anniversary
I just realized it's been slightly over two years since I started this blog. Although I do admit that a couple of times I've fallen victim to retail therapy nothing beats or comes close to writing here, in this very blog during my stressful and yet joyful trod through nursing school and life.
When I started it in 2006, it was from lack of someone to talk and wholly and fully communicate myself to and what I was going through from day to day. It was from feeling overwhelmed by aloneness and loneliness. At that time, I felt cut off from life. I was sad most days and most of the time indulged in listening to music full of negative energy. Of course, then I did not realize and the music I indulged in I still do today. I guess what I'm trying to say is I make my life what it is.
I'm in no way the same person I was when I started this journal in June, 2006. I'm not only different knowledge wise but physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. A lot of changes have taken place. Some bringing out the best in me and others just showing sides of me I didn't know would ever even cross my mind to exist. Still, I've tried to embrace both positively. It's not all been joy neither has it been tears but I've learned to tap strength from God in either case.
When I started this blog I had not the slightest clue how I was going to pay my way through school and survive (rent, books, bills) but look at me now? It's been a struggle yes but I'm almost there. It's all God, far be it from me that I should take any credit for it. I remember leaving clinical rotations at 11pm and not getting home until 2am yet assignments still awaited me and the next morning I'd had to wake up and go to clinicals or work. Many people ask me how I do it? my response is, it's not me but God. Then of course those times when I've not had enough money to buy my text books or pay rent and my bills. Still, I've somehow emerged a winner and an even stronger person.
However, it's not all been successes I've failed at quite a bit and greatly disappointed and depressed (not literally) myself. I hold myself on a very high pedestal and have very high expectations of myself and this has not always worked for the best of me but still I've learned to deal with it for me or against. I've learned to set boundaries, put my foot down and voice my perceptions. Now who would ever have thought that I of all people would have difficulty airing her views or going west while everyone else has gone east? well let this not be confused for being a follower as I've never been one. I've learned to put me first and do what's best for me. Yet as passionate a person as I am I've still ended up in catch 22's and gotten tangled up in messes that I never dreamed to get involved in. But then again such is life, c'est la vie, we live and learn.
My family has been a great support system. Thanks for bailing me out when I've had no way out, thanks for loving me always despite of circumstances, thanks for walking in my shoes despite been so far away, thanks for calling and writing, for praying with me and for me, for caring so deeply, thanks for being the family everyone else would like to be a part of.
The Jasso's, you've been awesome friends to me in laughter and pain, you've laughed with me and at me, you've taken me in during odd times and made me feel at home, you've provided for me and loved me as one of your own. Oh I can never repay that but I pray for you, that God bestow His best blessings upon you.
J, thanks for being the friend you are to me. For your selflessness and helping me out.
When I started it in 2006, it was from lack of someone to talk and wholly and fully communicate myself to and what I was going through from day to day. It was from feeling overwhelmed by aloneness and loneliness. At that time, I felt cut off from life. I was sad most days and most of the time indulged in listening to music full of negative energy. Of course, then I did not realize and the music I indulged in I still do today. I guess what I'm trying to say is I make my life what it is.
I'm in no way the same person I was when I started this journal in June, 2006. I'm not only different knowledge wise but physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. A lot of changes have taken place. Some bringing out the best in me and others just showing sides of me I didn't know would ever even cross my mind to exist. Still, I've tried to embrace both positively. It's not all been joy neither has it been tears but I've learned to tap strength from God in either case.
When I started this blog I had not the slightest clue how I was going to pay my way through school and survive (rent, books, bills) but look at me now? It's been a struggle yes but I'm almost there. It's all God, far be it from me that I should take any credit for it. I remember leaving clinical rotations at 11pm and not getting home until 2am yet assignments still awaited me and the next morning I'd had to wake up and go to clinicals or work. Many people ask me how I do it? my response is, it's not me but God. Then of course those times when I've not had enough money to buy my text books or pay rent and my bills. Still, I've somehow emerged a winner and an even stronger person.
However, it's not all been successes I've failed at quite a bit and greatly disappointed and depressed (not literally) myself. I hold myself on a very high pedestal and have very high expectations of myself and this has not always worked for the best of me but still I've learned to deal with it for me or against. I've learned to set boundaries, put my foot down and voice my perceptions. Now who would ever have thought that I of all people would have difficulty airing her views or going west while everyone else has gone east? well let this not be confused for being a follower as I've never been one. I've learned to put me first and do what's best for me. Yet as passionate a person as I am I've still ended up in catch 22's and gotten tangled up in messes that I never dreamed to get involved in. But then again such is life, c'est la vie, we live and learn.
My family has been a great support system. Thanks for bailing me out when I've had no way out, thanks for loving me always despite of circumstances, thanks for walking in my shoes despite been so far away, thanks for calling and writing, for praying with me and for me, for caring so deeply, thanks for being the family everyone else would like to be a part of.
The Jasso's, you've been awesome friends to me in laughter and pain, you've laughed with me and at me, you've taken me in during odd times and made me feel at home, you've provided for me and loved me as one of your own. Oh I can never repay that but I pray for you, that God bestow His best blessings upon you.
J, thanks for being the friend you are to me. For your selflessness and helping me out.
Labels: My Anniversary Waltz
posted by Student Nurse at 2:33 PM
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