StudentNurse
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Prayer Answered, Fours years paid off
I am here to say after endless posts, well they did come to an end after all, because I'm officially a Registered Nurse (RN) all glory, honor, & praise to GOD!!!
I'm blessed to have had and still have such an amazing support system that did not give up on me. Their love, prayers, good thoughts, well wishes, and support got me where I am. Above all my family (I'm blessed to have you), the boyfriend (what would I do without you?), the bffs, Sandra & her family and all my friends.
I'm humbled. I'm blessed.
I'm off to save the world :)
Labels: RN
posted by Student Nurse at 8:16 PM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Great is thy faithfulness
The day is coming up. I've done this twice already. Idk where I've gone wrong. But I apologize to the God & the world and everyone and anyone in it I might have wronged. Anything/anyone that is in the way of me getting this right this time. I'm trusting God. I'm waiting upon him yet I feel a little nervous no doubt just a tad nervous which is human? Idk
I'm wanting to doubt but I will not. I've wanted to give up but haven't. I'm trusting God who brought me thus far. Yes I have failed along the way. But He is faithful. Please Father come through for me I beg thee
Remember me God. Please I beg thee to remember me. Each post I did on this blog was because of YOU. Because of your provision, providence, unending love, sufficient grace, new everyday mercies, guidance. Only YOU and YOU only so please remember me. I'm humbled down on my knees because great is thy faithfulness morning by morning new mercies I see all I have needed thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father; There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. Refrain Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Sun, moon and stars in their courses above Join with all nature in manifold witness To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Refrain Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
I'm wanting to doubt but I will not. I've wanted to give up but haven't. I'm trusting God who brought me thus far. Yes I have failed along the way. But He is faithful. Please Father come through for me I beg thee
Remember me God. Please I beg thee to remember me. Each post I did on this blog was because of YOU. Because of your provision, providence, unending love, sufficient grace, new everyday mercies, guidance. Only YOU and YOU only so please remember me. I'm humbled down on my knees because great is thy faithfulness morning by morning new mercies I see all I have needed thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father; There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. Refrain Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Sun, moon and stars in their courses above Join with all nature in manifold witness To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Refrain Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
posted by Student Nurse at 12:27 PM
Friday, February 27, 2009
End of the road
I knew this day was long coming. I even actually envisioned it. And I promised myself that when the day came I would let it linger, savoring it, counting my blessings, full of gratitude, I would feel it and let it feel me, I would let it gently caress me, letting it hug me oh so tenderly yet genuinely. And yet here it is. What can I say? how do I put what I feel in words? how do I type it out here for all and sundry to read? how do I phrase it impeccably for me to come back and read it in the future and still relate? how do I not lose this feeling in writing it? because if I get it all out and on to this journal it's no longer inside of me and these words are the pages of my diary? but I'll write it here because in my heart and soul it is indeed etched in stone.
I just finished reading one of the most beautiful books I've read in a very long time. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. There are great writers then there are people like me. But that's now what I'm here to write about today so I digress...
Who am I kidding? It's been a long and grueling journey. One that has been filled with tears of joy and triumph and yet still tears of despair and anguish. Tears that have been shed from been on edge and at the very point of wanting to throw in the towel and live on telling myself I gave it my best only it didn't work out but that's ok too because not everything in this life is meant to work out for us, right? But the other night a friend reminded me that all we have to do to make God laugh is tell Him our plans. I would lie if I said it has all been easy but then again who said it was going to be?
I vividly recall seating in that orientation room one summer day of 2006 in business casual. In there for my nursing orientation from morning until evening. But even before this I remember finding out I had been accepted into nursing school. And still even before that I remember writing my essay and filling out my nursing school application. I remember it all. So when the orientation came the only thing sitting infront of me on the table was a placard with my name. An only foreign student surrounded by a sea of strangers only they all looked lost like I did and later as we got to know each other had admitted they actually had felt lost. The nursing department had bombarded us with all this info and often enough reminded us what a strong support system we'd all need to get through this. It had been one speaker after another, then we had fitted our smurf blue nursing scrubs and then had our pictures taken for our IDs and before we knew it we were in class. And then the journey had started and the rest as they say is history and all well documented in my posts in this entire blog.
It had been tough though. I didn't drive and had to take a bus from work to class and from home to the clinical sites and back. I clearly remember during one of my classes my clinical rotation had ended at 11pm, a friend would give me a ride to the trolley stop then I'd had to wait until 1243am for the last trolley of the night. It was scary getting on the trolley at such wee hours but I had no choice this was my life as I knew it. I'd get off the trolley at around 130am and start my 30mins walk home in the dark and abandoned streets. It was scary been a girl and all. I would walk as fast as I could tightly clutching my pepper spray. Some nights I'd be brave while on others I was just ready to crap my pants from fear. Each time I got outside my house which would normally be around 2am I'd kneel on the concrete pavement, kiss it and thank God for getting me home. I did this each night without fail. And God did take care of me because I wouldn't know to say who else. I would get home at 2am, have a bowl of cereal, do a couple of assignments and get in bed and snooze for a couple of hours. On the one night a week I had lecture, I'd leave the office at 3pm and get on the bus to campus and was there around 530pm which was when the class started. Class ended at 1000pm then I'd get on the last bus that would take me downtown and get on the last trolley at 1243am. But again God did get me through.
So this morning (it's 2am) as I type this I'm overwhelmed and I'm tearing because as much as I knew this day was coming I didn't know how it'd come or how it'd find me. But come it did anyway. Above everyone and everything I'm grateful to God. If it wasn't for His great plans for my life, mercies, grace, and steadfast love I surely wouldn't have made it this far. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the angels He planted on the paths I trod day and night because He already knew them, grateful for the angels He put in my life. Secondly, I'm grateful for a great and truly the best family. They loved me a little bit more each day, prayed for and with me, texted me, called me, and sent e-mails to support me despite our being worlds apart. I'm grateful for the angels God sent me, my Italian family, and each last one of my friends who supported me as well and reminded me I could do it.
This month I've taken my last nursing class. Issues in Professional Nursing. It has been a great class. Tomorrow I turn in my nursing portfolio folder and CD ROM. And it's adios nursing school. It's very uplifting and again overwhelming but I'm beside myself with joy. I want to absolutely go nuts and just lose it for a day. For all the agony, stress, and the freak nursing school made out of me or made me. But when this journey ends another one starts and my next journey is to study for my RN boards. I've faith I will pass them on my first take. I start studying next month. Can you believe it? GO ME!!!!
Here's to all my friends and myself for making it through nursing school, may we all pass the boards and be the greatest nurses in the world over!!! WooHoo. Then here's to my dear friends who are still in the journey, hang in there, each day is more challenging alright but each day brings you closer to the prize so soldier on beloveds!!!
Hugs & Kisses
te amo
mucho amor,
Estudiante enfermera
p.s. I'll be back soon to let you know I passed my RN boards :)
I just finished reading one of the most beautiful books I've read in a very long time. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. There are great writers then there are people like me. But that's now what I'm here to write about today so I digress...
Who am I kidding? It's been a long and grueling journey. One that has been filled with tears of joy and triumph and yet still tears of despair and anguish. Tears that have been shed from been on edge and at the very point of wanting to throw in the towel and live on telling myself I gave it my best only it didn't work out but that's ok too because not everything in this life is meant to work out for us, right? But the other night a friend reminded me that all we have to do to make God laugh is tell Him our plans. I would lie if I said it has all been easy but then again who said it was going to be?
I vividly recall seating in that orientation room one summer day of 2006 in business casual. In there for my nursing orientation from morning until evening. But even before this I remember finding out I had been accepted into nursing school. And still even before that I remember writing my essay and filling out my nursing school application. I remember it all. So when the orientation came the only thing sitting infront of me on the table was a placard with my name. An only foreign student surrounded by a sea of strangers only they all looked lost like I did and later as we got to know each other had admitted they actually had felt lost. The nursing department had bombarded us with all this info and often enough reminded us what a strong support system we'd all need to get through this. It had been one speaker after another, then we had fitted our smurf blue nursing scrubs and then had our pictures taken for our IDs and before we knew it we were in class. And then the journey had started and the rest as they say is history and all well documented in my posts in this entire blog.
It had been tough though. I didn't drive and had to take a bus from work to class and from home to the clinical sites and back. I clearly remember during one of my classes my clinical rotation had ended at 11pm, a friend would give me a ride to the trolley stop then I'd had to wait until 1243am for the last trolley of the night. It was scary getting on the trolley at such wee hours but I had no choice this was my life as I knew it. I'd get off the trolley at around 130am and start my 30mins walk home in the dark and abandoned streets. It was scary been a girl and all. I would walk as fast as I could tightly clutching my pepper spray. Some nights I'd be brave while on others I was just ready to crap my pants from fear. Each time I got outside my house which would normally be around 2am I'd kneel on the concrete pavement, kiss it and thank God for getting me home. I did this each night without fail. And God did take care of me because I wouldn't know to say who else. I would get home at 2am, have a bowl of cereal, do a couple of assignments and get in bed and snooze for a couple of hours. On the one night a week I had lecture, I'd leave the office at 3pm and get on the bus to campus and was there around 530pm which was when the class started. Class ended at 1000pm then I'd get on the last bus that would take me downtown and get on the last trolley at 1243am. But again God did get me through.
So this morning (it's 2am) as I type this I'm overwhelmed and I'm tearing because as much as I knew this day was coming I didn't know how it'd come or how it'd find me. But come it did anyway. Above everyone and everything I'm grateful to God. If it wasn't for His great plans for my life, mercies, grace, and steadfast love I surely wouldn't have made it this far. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the angels He planted on the paths I trod day and night because He already knew them, grateful for the angels He put in my life. Secondly, I'm grateful for a great and truly the best family. They loved me a little bit more each day, prayed for and with me, texted me, called me, and sent e-mails to support me despite our being worlds apart. I'm grateful for the angels God sent me, my Italian family, and each last one of my friends who supported me as well and reminded me I could do it.
This month I've taken my last nursing class. Issues in Professional Nursing. It has been a great class. Tomorrow I turn in my nursing portfolio folder and CD ROM. And it's adios nursing school. It's very uplifting and again overwhelming but I'm beside myself with joy. I want to absolutely go nuts and just lose it for a day. For all the agony, stress, and the freak nursing school made out of me or made me. But when this journey ends another one starts and my next journey is to study for my RN boards. I've faith I will pass them on my first take. I start studying next month. Can you believe it? GO ME!!!!
Here's to all my friends and myself for making it through nursing school, may we all pass the boards and be the greatest nurses in the world over!!! WooHoo. Then here's to my dear friends who are still in the journey, hang in there, each day is more challenging alright but each day brings you closer to the prize so soldier on beloveds!!!
Hugs & Kisses
te amo
mucho amor,
Estudiante enfermera
p.s. I'll be back soon to let you know I passed my RN boards :)
Labels: Adieu, Nursing School
posted by Student Nurse at 1:46 AM
Sunday, February 01, 2009
January Re-visted
I'm typing this from a friend's couch. We just came back from church and I might add the service was great and that number, Majesty (by Delirious), did the trick :)
It's the 1st of February otherwise dubbed as the 43rd (?) superbowl? And let it be known I'm rooting for the Steelers. The church told the story because all levels were crowded and it took us a while to actually find a place for two to sit. Because everyone was trying to get church out of the way so that they could party for the rest of the day. I'm polling for the Steelers because they beat the Chargers and I want to know we were beat by the absolute best. So go, Steelers, bring it home!!!
January was tough. Wow. Nursing research dealt me blow after blow. I was up most days and nights doing and revising papers and endless assignments. According, to my instructor (who absolutely loves me) and how do I know this ? because after every phone conversation she tells me "I love you, kiddo".
So how then did she push me so hard? I figure it was to make me the best nurse. I'm biased as I type this because I just found out I passed the class with a B-. But during those days and nights I labored it was not funny at all. I clearly recall coming home one morning and going into my closest and crying out my frustration and confusion amidst my shoes and clothes. It was too much to bear. I later emerged and called my moms who encouraged me and reminded me she was coming to see me in June and would I be strong because no one has it easy during a research class.
The only thing, in spite of all my efforts I didn't seem to be doing anything right in my instructor's books. It was exhausting. At some point I wanted to throw up my hands, throw in the towel and quit. But I'm a fighter and I don't go down easily. So, I pressed on, soldiered on until last night. And last night as I crawled under the covers at home in my bed for like the first time this year (no exaggeration) I breathed in a sigh of relief because I knew it had all finally come to a close. The end was here. In my bff's words it was "a wrap".
Funny because I was on the phone w/the bff and suddenly had an incoming call from my instructor. What was it this time? had I screwed up the final exam? My mind went back to the previous day, Saturday, when I had spent most of my day at the library glued to the computer and taken 3 hours to take the final exam. So it couldn't be that right? because I recalled putting in as much detail as was possible. Oh then it hit me what it was. It had to be the revised journal and part III I had just turned in a couple of minutes ago. I wasn't going to pick up the call I told the bff. For once I wanted to go to bed and not have nightmares of a paper full of red (the instructor's corrections) or an in-box full of e-mails all titled "URGENT" from my instructor. Yes, for this once I wanted to go to sleep with no worries and that could only be facilitated by not picking up the call or checking my e--mail again that night. I could not imagine revising one more paper before she graded my final to indicate I had officially failed the class and I needed to do some make-up work to pass the class. Therefore, I pulled the covers over my head and got my beauty sleep for the first time since the year began. And today? I feel so revitalized, recouped and just ready to take on the world. Tomorrow? well tomorrow I start NSG 440, which is officially my last nursing course. I'm overly thankful and full of gratitude to God for bringing me this far. Oh what I'd do without Him?
Current superbowl score: Steelers 20
Cardinals 7
GO, STEELERS!!!!
Mood: contemplative & happy
Songs playing in mind: Majesty-Delirious
Games People Play-Inner Circle
Single ladies/Put a ring on it-Beyonce
It's the 1st of February otherwise dubbed as the 43rd (?) superbowl? And let it be known I'm rooting for the Steelers. The church told the story because all levels were crowded and it took us a while to actually find a place for two to sit. Because everyone was trying to get church out of the way so that they could party for the rest of the day. I'm polling for the Steelers because they beat the Chargers and I want to know we were beat by the absolute best. So go, Steelers, bring it home!!!
January was tough. Wow. Nursing research dealt me blow after blow. I was up most days and nights doing and revising papers and endless assignments. According, to my instructor (who absolutely loves me) and how do I know this ? because after every phone conversation she tells me "I love you, kiddo".
So how then did she push me so hard? I figure it was to make me the best nurse. I'm biased as I type this because I just found out I passed the class with a B-. But during those days and nights I labored it was not funny at all. I clearly recall coming home one morning and going into my closest and crying out my frustration and confusion amidst my shoes and clothes. It was too much to bear. I later emerged and called my moms who encouraged me and reminded me she was coming to see me in June and would I be strong because no one has it easy during a research class.
The only thing, in spite of all my efforts I didn't seem to be doing anything right in my instructor's books. It was exhausting. At some point I wanted to throw up my hands, throw in the towel and quit. But I'm a fighter and I don't go down easily. So, I pressed on, soldiered on until last night. And last night as I crawled under the covers at home in my bed for like the first time this year (no exaggeration) I breathed in a sigh of relief because I knew it had all finally come to a close. The end was here. In my bff's words it was "a wrap".
Funny because I was on the phone w/the bff and suddenly had an incoming call from my instructor. What was it this time? had I screwed up the final exam? My mind went back to the previous day, Saturday, when I had spent most of my day at the library glued to the computer and taken 3 hours to take the final exam. So it couldn't be that right? because I recalled putting in as much detail as was possible. Oh then it hit me what it was. It had to be the revised journal and part III I had just turned in a couple of minutes ago. I wasn't going to pick up the call I told the bff. For once I wanted to go to bed and not have nightmares of a paper full of red (the instructor's corrections) or an in-box full of e-mails all titled "URGENT" from my instructor. Yes, for this once I wanted to go to sleep with no worries and that could only be facilitated by not picking up the call or checking my e--mail again that night. I could not imagine revising one more paper before she graded my final to indicate I had officially failed the class and I needed to do some make-up work to pass the class. Therefore, I pulled the covers over my head and got my beauty sleep for the first time since the year began. And today? I feel so revitalized, recouped and just ready to take on the world. Tomorrow? well tomorrow I start NSG 440, which is officially my last nursing course. I'm overly thankful and full of gratitude to God for bringing me this far. Oh what I'd do without Him?
Current superbowl score: Steelers 20
Cardinals 7
GO, STEELERS!!!!
Mood: contemplative & happy
Songs playing in mind: Majesty-Delirious
Games People Play-Inner Circle
Single ladies/Put a ring on it-Beyonce
Labels: Nursing Research, Nursing School
posted by Student Nurse at 12:37 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2009
No Recollection
My memory fails me. Fails me remembering when I first began doubting myself or when my heart first faltered and when this game of me second guessing myself all began. Yet here all of them are.
A lot has been happening. Much of which has been hurtful and shattering. And with that I think a little belief, faith and hope has slipped from me in to the nothingness around me. I've always believed and told myself that if I were to lose all else I'd want to keep holding on God's love, faith, hope, grace, mercy and belief. And even in this crashing waves that am in, the raging storms I am in and even in my facing the giants I refuse to let go of my faith, hope and trust in God. After all it is all I know. That which I live, eat, walk and sleep.
Doubt is as bad as the thief. It comes to steal that which we have always known and held on to. It comes only to take away and not give. So why would I want to be a part of it I ask? I wouldn't. And I don't. But I doubt. I doubt so much. Often. Lately. God doesn't want me to doubt. It is crystal clear in the bible. James 1:6. "He who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord." I do not want to doubt. I shall doubt no more. I've not been doubting God. But myself. I've been doubting me. But, no more doubting.
When sorrows have come and come they have and burdened my heart be. I've waited in the silence until He has come and sat a while with me. He has held me. Everytime. When all else has fallen. He has held me. And that's the promise to be held when all else falls. When we lose our faith and hope to know I am ok because am in better hands. He is the only one who stands with me when the sacred is torn from my life. When it's so painful and hurts so bad. On those days when I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out until its all calm. But then again what is life without challenges. It is in trial and temptation that God's strength is manifest.
I started NSG 422 this month. I ordered my book in December and it's not here yet. Oh am so falling behind. But am trusting God and watch Him part the waters for me. Thank you God.
I'm trusting God for a lot of things and in a lot of areas in my life and I've faith and hope He shall come through for me.
In the meantime, I am so uplifted by Casting Crowns, Natalie Grant & Selah. And Richie Spice's (the way you're living) gets me bopping my head every so often and dancing around my room.
A lot has been happening. Much of which has been hurtful and shattering. And with that I think a little belief, faith and hope has slipped from me in to the nothingness around me. I've always believed and told myself that if I were to lose all else I'd want to keep holding on God's love, faith, hope, grace, mercy and belief. And even in this crashing waves that am in, the raging storms I am in and even in my facing the giants I refuse to let go of my faith, hope and trust in God. After all it is all I know. That which I live, eat, walk and sleep.
Doubt is as bad as the thief. It comes to steal that which we have always known and held on to. It comes only to take away and not give. So why would I want to be a part of it I ask? I wouldn't. And I don't. But I doubt. I doubt so much. Often. Lately. God doesn't want me to doubt. It is crystal clear in the bible. James 1:6. "He who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord." I do not want to doubt. I shall doubt no more. I've not been doubting God. But myself. I've been doubting me. But, no more doubting.
When sorrows have come and come they have and burdened my heart be. I've waited in the silence until He has come and sat a while with me. He has held me. Everytime. When all else has fallen. He has held me. And that's the promise to be held when all else falls. When we lose our faith and hope to know I am ok because am in better hands. He is the only one who stands with me when the sacred is torn from my life. When it's so painful and hurts so bad. On those days when I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out until its all calm. But then again what is life without challenges. It is in trial and temptation that God's strength is manifest.
I started NSG 422 this month. I ordered my book in December and it's not here yet. Oh am so falling behind. But am trusting God and watch Him part the waters for me. Thank you God.
I'm trusting God for a lot of things and in a lot of areas in my life and I've faith and hope He shall come through for me.
In the meantime, I am so uplifted by Casting Crowns, Natalie Grant & Selah. And Richie Spice's (the way you're living) gets me bopping my head every so often and dancing around my room.
posted by Student Nurse at 4:18 PM
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tis that season
It's that time of the year when I get homesick. And sad. It's rubbed in my nose that am far far away from home and my dear family. It's everywhere I go. The Christmas decor and holiday spirit. Everyone laden with shopping bags. Everyone leaving town to be with loved ones. And yet in the holiday spirit even as I type this am sipping on some hot chocolate w/marshmallows.
It's been a while since I posted. But not that long a while because I've gone longer. The last time I posted I wrote about things I am thankful and grateful for this year. However, this year has not been all highs. I've hit some devastating lows. Now an idiom my moms always tells me is that it gets worse before it gets better. As I near the end of the proverbial tunnel. I can even see the light at the end of this proverbial tunnel then tables keep turning on me. Things keep taking a turn for the worst. But God is awesome. Without God am truly nothing. So tonight as I type this am grateful for His favors, mercies, grace and love. I'm grateful for the job. Thank you God. For a long minute there things were looking pretty bad. I thank God for my friends who stepped in and helped out during that financial crisis period I went through. Thank you for the food, the money you sent and even some of the bills you footed for me. I can never give this back but I pray God bless you all a thousand fold.
It's twelve days to Christmas. This year I've no plans at all. Nada. Zilch. Zero. But it is well with my soul still.
It has been a tough year full of pain and struggle this one. And am sure as hell ready to bid it adieu. I'm glad it's coming to an end I cannot tell a lie. The family and I have had it coming from all directions. But in this time am glad that we have come together and stood in solidarity in prayer and fasting and seen God intervene in many a situation for us. I keep praying for strength and peace for my moms. Oh God have mercy, Father.
In November I took HIS 350 and got an A-. It was an interesting class and the prof was great. He actually wrote me last week when he was in town and we did lunch. I'm currently taking LIT 322 (American Literature) and boy have I been a slacker. I don't recall ever procrastinating this much in my life. I'm ashamed. The class ends on Saturday. I need to work on a couple of reading assignments, do an 8pg final paper and prepare a poetry report to present on Wednesday class night. I've only Monday to do all these. I thrive under pressure so not to worry. I must get it done. I've no option. I'm eager to see what I get in this class. Hmm.
Winter recess begins on the 23rd and ends on the 5th. Omg after LIT 322 I've 3 classes to go. God is alive and awesome. Oh my goodness am gonna totally lose it. I'll just go crazy when am done with these classes. No kidding! Oh Jesus how I love thee
In other news its getting chilly and we have a storm coming in this weekend. I'm sick of the Christmas parties. I thank God for providing. I thank God that I now know where rent money is coming from and money for the other bills too. Oh thank you God. Please help me to always strive to live for thee
I've been getting through a lot of days lately by listening to or hearing Natalie Grant's song -Held- playing in my head. I need to upload it to my ipod.
Thank you God for holding me all the while
Thank you for finding me when am lost
Thank you for speaking amidst the noise
Thank you God for each prayer answered
Thank you God for the strength
Thank you for putting me together when I fall apart
Thank you for am held by you
Oh God thank you
my whole being is full of gratitude
Thank you for been my better hands
when I run out of faith and hope
Thank you God
because I know am in better hands now
and forever
listening to-Natalie Grant's Better Hands
Held
mood-emotional
It's been a while since I posted. But not that long a while because I've gone longer. The last time I posted I wrote about things I am thankful and grateful for this year. However, this year has not been all highs. I've hit some devastating lows. Now an idiom my moms always tells me is that it gets worse before it gets better. As I near the end of the proverbial tunnel. I can even see the light at the end of this proverbial tunnel then tables keep turning on me. Things keep taking a turn for the worst. But God is awesome. Without God am truly nothing. So tonight as I type this am grateful for His favors, mercies, grace and love. I'm grateful for the job. Thank you God. For a long minute there things were looking pretty bad. I thank God for my friends who stepped in and helped out during that financial crisis period I went through. Thank you for the food, the money you sent and even some of the bills you footed for me. I can never give this back but I pray God bless you all a thousand fold.
It's twelve days to Christmas. This year I've no plans at all. Nada. Zilch. Zero. But it is well with my soul still.
It has been a tough year full of pain and struggle this one. And am sure as hell ready to bid it adieu. I'm glad it's coming to an end I cannot tell a lie. The family and I have had it coming from all directions. But in this time am glad that we have come together and stood in solidarity in prayer and fasting and seen God intervene in many a situation for us. I keep praying for strength and peace for my moms. Oh God have mercy, Father.
In November I took HIS 350 and got an A-. It was an interesting class and the prof was great. He actually wrote me last week when he was in town and we did lunch. I'm currently taking LIT 322 (American Literature) and boy have I been a slacker. I don't recall ever procrastinating this much in my life. I'm ashamed. The class ends on Saturday. I need to work on a couple of reading assignments, do an 8pg final paper and prepare a poetry report to present on Wednesday class night. I've only Monday to do all these. I thrive under pressure so not to worry. I must get it done. I've no option. I'm eager to see what I get in this class. Hmm.
Winter recess begins on the 23rd and ends on the 5th. Omg after LIT 322 I've 3 classes to go. God is alive and awesome. Oh my goodness am gonna totally lose it. I'll just go crazy when am done with these classes. No kidding! Oh Jesus how I love thee
In other news its getting chilly and we have a storm coming in this weekend. I'm sick of the Christmas parties. I thank God for providing. I thank God that I now know where rent money is coming from and money for the other bills too. Oh thank you God. Please help me to always strive to live for thee
I've been getting through a lot of days lately by listening to or hearing Natalie Grant's song -Held- playing in my head. I need to upload it to my ipod.
Thank you God for holding me all the while
Thank you for finding me when am lost
Thank you for speaking amidst the noise
Thank you God for each prayer answered
Thank you God for the strength
Thank you for putting me together when I fall apart
Thank you for am held by you
Oh God thank you
my whole being is full of gratitude
Thank you for been my better hands
when I run out of faith and hope
Thank you God
because I know am in better hands now
and forever
listening to-Natalie Grant's Better Hands
Held
mood-emotional
Labels: Christmas 2008
posted by Student Nurse at 4:51 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
I've never been one to do a thanksgiving post. But this year one seems uncharacteristically apropos.
Wow. Now that I think about it I've so much that I'm thankful & grateful for.
I clearly recall ushering the year at some pub/club in Worcester, MA with a couple of friends and friends of friends. I remember as the day ended how I had crawled under the covers in snowy, bone chilling Boston cold weather and wished I didn't have to dress up and go out later that night. But sure enough at 10pm we had taken turns to shower and get ready. I had braved the night in my little black dress with knee high boots. Shortly we were all bundled up in the car and speeding off to the 'party'.
January had picked up from where December had left with a continuation of Community Health Nursing ending in February. In March/April I had taken Leadership & Management. In end of April I had triumphantly wore the smurf blue scrubs for the last time in the history of nursing school. Now if that's not a miracle I don't have the first idea what else to call it. So, today am grateful that God saw me through the beginning of Nursing school one summer of 2006 to spring of 2008.
At the beginning of March. Actually scratch that, on March 1st me and the then s.o had moved in together into some very nice apartment. A week later he had gone back East not to return until end of May. I had footed the bills solely. A great place to live it had been only I had not had time to enjoy it because everyday and night of the week I was either away in class or at work. Trying to make ends meet on my meager wages. It was tough. But today am grateful because God had provided and I had not gone without.
End of May when the s.o. had returned to town. The relationship was spiralling downwards. Only faster than we could make it work. It was one arguement and fight after another. Lies and betrayals. Actions and words said that could not be taken back. On June 8th after living together for three weeks I had sadly realized there was no coming back from that and had packed up my bags and called Sandra to come pick me up. I had no clue what I was going to do next, all I knew is that I needed out. Yvette had picked me up. This thanksgiving I'm grateful that God gave me the courage to get out of a bad relationship. I'm very thankful for Sandra and her family taking me in when I had nowhere else to go until I found my own place
I'm grateful for God's grace, steadfast and unfailing love, mercies that have and are renewed to me every morning
I'm thankful for His watchful eye upon me. For planting angels on the paths I trod and keeping me safe day and night
I'm grateful for His journey mercies as I commute by trolley and bus. I'm thankful for His providence of my bus passes month after month
I'm grateful for food and clothes
I'm grateful that God has ensured that I've the required text books for each class I've taken. I'm thankful for good grades
I'm grateful for good instructors
I'm thankful for a great boss and colleagues at the office. They always have my best interest at heart. I'm grateful that they take turns to give me a ride to the next bus stop to save me time and ensure I get home before its too late. Especially now that its so dark so early. I'm very appreciative
I'm grateful for learning the lesson, beautiful mistake (s). That a mistake isn't a mistake until it can't be made right. And in any event it can't be made right it's ok because sometimes it takes a while to get some things right. Also in any event the mistake should re-occur that its also ok because mistakes are lessons and lessons a part of life
I'm grateful that I've learned to be content in need and abound.
I'm thankful that I've learned it's the simple and small things that really are the crux. In life
I'm grateful to God for always coming through for me. I'm grateful that even when I've almost gone without or come close to lacking He has intervened. Hear! hear! God's timing is perfect
I'm grateful to God for my church, the Rock San Diego. For Pastor Miles. I'm thankful that I've cultivated a passion for the house of God. That on Sundays am on a high. A high from the desire and longing to go to church and lift up arms in worship and praise. A craving and discerning to not leave God's house the same way I came but to be blessed and start the week on the right foot. To strive to obey God's commandments and live in accordance with the scriptures
I'm thankful because this year I've practiced setting my boundaries. Getting my foot in the door and doing right by me. Staying true to myself.
I'm overly grateful for my moms. I'm grateful and thankful to God for the great woman and person she is. I'm grateful because though so far she's always close to me spiritually. I'm thankful because each day am at peace because I know she lifts me up in prayers.
I'm grateful for my siblings. Their kindness, thoughtfulness, support and love. The random text messages, calls, facebook messages and e-mails. They get me through each day.
I'm grateful that at last I've my verses up and running on my bedside wall
I'm thankful for my room. It's so warmy, cozy and homely. I look forward to coming home
I'm thankful to God that I found such a convenient place to live. A walking distance to/from the trolley and central to everything I need
I'm thankful for this blog. A life well lived is worth recording. Mine isn't that 'well' lived per se still these are the chronicles of my journey through nursing school far away from home. My life in a foreign land. Away from home.
Finally, I'm grateful for God's forgiveness. Thankful for His blood that turns crimson red to snow white. Grateful for always forgiving me the many a time I've trod down the wrong paths and fail, walk myself into temptations all the while knowing I'll fail but still walking into them anyway. I'm grateful because of His forgiveness. Because a saint is a sinner who fell but got up. Thankful that He helps me get up after each fall and helps me pick up the pieces
Wow. Now that I think about it I've so much that I'm thankful & grateful for.
I clearly recall ushering the year at some pub/club in Worcester, MA with a couple of friends and friends of friends. I remember as the day ended how I had crawled under the covers in snowy, bone chilling Boston cold weather and wished I didn't have to dress up and go out later that night. But sure enough at 10pm we had taken turns to shower and get ready. I had braved the night in my little black dress with knee high boots. Shortly we were all bundled up in the car and speeding off to the 'party'.
January had picked up from where December had left with a continuation of Community Health Nursing ending in February. In March/April I had taken Leadership & Management. In end of April I had triumphantly wore the smurf blue scrubs for the last time in the history of nursing school. Now if that's not a miracle I don't have the first idea what else to call it. So, today am grateful that God saw me through the beginning of Nursing school one summer of 2006 to spring of 2008.
At the beginning of March. Actually scratch that, on March 1st me and the then s.o had moved in together into some very nice apartment. A week later he had gone back East not to return until end of May. I had footed the bills solely. A great place to live it had been only I had not had time to enjoy it because everyday and night of the week I was either away in class or at work. Trying to make ends meet on my meager wages. It was tough. But today am grateful because God had provided and I had not gone without.
End of May when the s.o. had returned to town. The relationship was spiralling downwards. Only faster than we could make it work. It was one arguement and fight after another. Lies and betrayals. Actions and words said that could not be taken back. On June 8th after living together for three weeks I had sadly realized there was no coming back from that and had packed up my bags and called Sandra to come pick me up. I had no clue what I was going to do next, all I knew is that I needed out. Yvette had picked me up. This thanksgiving I'm grateful that God gave me the courage to get out of a bad relationship. I'm very thankful for Sandra and her family taking me in when I had nowhere else to go until I found my own place
I'm grateful for God's grace, steadfast and unfailing love, mercies that have and are renewed to me every morning
I'm thankful for His watchful eye upon me. For planting angels on the paths I trod and keeping me safe day and night
I'm grateful for His journey mercies as I commute by trolley and bus. I'm thankful for His providence of my bus passes month after month
I'm grateful for food and clothes
I'm grateful that God has ensured that I've the required text books for each class I've taken. I'm thankful for good grades
I'm grateful for good instructors
I'm thankful for a great boss and colleagues at the office. They always have my best interest at heart. I'm grateful that they take turns to give me a ride to the next bus stop to save me time and ensure I get home before its too late. Especially now that its so dark so early. I'm very appreciative
I'm grateful for learning the lesson, beautiful mistake (s). That a mistake isn't a mistake until it can't be made right. And in any event it can't be made right it's ok because sometimes it takes a while to get some things right. Also in any event the mistake should re-occur that its also ok because mistakes are lessons and lessons a part of life
I'm grateful that I've learned to be content in need and abound.
I'm thankful that I've learned it's the simple and small things that really are the crux. In life
I'm grateful to God for always coming through for me. I'm grateful that even when I've almost gone without or come close to lacking He has intervened. Hear! hear! God's timing is perfect
I'm grateful to God for my church, the Rock San Diego. For Pastor Miles. I'm thankful that I've cultivated a passion for the house of God. That on Sundays am on a high. A high from the desire and longing to go to church and lift up arms in worship and praise. A craving and discerning to not leave God's house the same way I came but to be blessed and start the week on the right foot. To strive to obey God's commandments and live in accordance with the scriptures
I'm thankful because this year I've practiced setting my boundaries. Getting my foot in the door and doing right by me. Staying true to myself.
I'm overly grateful for my moms. I'm grateful and thankful to God for the great woman and person she is. I'm grateful because though so far she's always close to me spiritually. I'm thankful because each day am at peace because I know she lifts me up in prayers.
I'm grateful for my siblings. Their kindness, thoughtfulness, support and love. The random text messages, calls, facebook messages and e-mails. They get me through each day.
I'm grateful that at last I've my verses up and running on my bedside wall
I'm thankful for my room. It's so warmy, cozy and homely. I look forward to coming home
I'm thankful to God that I found such a convenient place to live. A walking distance to/from the trolley and central to everything I need
I'm thankful for this blog. A life well lived is worth recording. Mine isn't that 'well' lived per se still these are the chronicles of my journey through nursing school far away from home. My life in a foreign land. Away from home.
Finally, I'm grateful for God's forgiveness. Thankful for His blood that turns crimson red to snow white. Grateful for always forgiving me the many a time I've trod down the wrong paths and fail, walk myself into temptations all the while knowing I'll fail but still walking into them anyway. I'm grateful because of His forgiveness. Because a saint is a sinner who fell but got up. Thankful that He helps me get up after each fall and helps me pick up the pieces
Labels: Ode to 2008 Thanksgiving
posted by Student Nurse at 12:32 AM
